Background

The traditional wedding ceremony is largely geared towards the husband and officiant; the bride's role is minimal. All she needs to do is silently accept the ring. Various alterations have been made to the ceremony to try and minimise this discrepancy - Rabbi Dov Linzer published an article dealing with such alterations from an Orthodox standpoint, in the JOFA journal. The following text is a reproduction of the part of that article which deals with the ketubah.

From "Towards a More Balanced Wedding Ceremony"

Rabbi Dov Linzer

In regards to the ketubah text there are more issues. In Ashkenazic communities, the ketubah is more of a ritual object than an actual contract, and its text is considered relatively fixed. In Sephardic communities, the ketubah is a living document whose text has evolved over the years and is more fluid. While it is important not to overly alter the ketubah text, some minor adjustments can be made without difficulty.

• Use of mother’s names following father’s name (e.g., יעקב בן יצחק ורבקה). This is a more precise identification, and is no different than the use of family names.
• דהנעלת לה מבי אבוה, ”property that she brings in from her father’s house“ can be replaced with דהנעלת לה מבי אבוה ואמה, (that she brings in from her father’s and mother’s house), דהנעלת לה מדנשפה (that she brings in of her own), or with דהנעלת לה(that she brings in), as appropriate. This is already the practice in Sephardic ketubot.

בתולתא, "virgin". It is currently the practice to use this description for the woman’s first wedding, regardless of her personal status. This description is not essential and may be either be totally eliminated, or replaced with a generic phrase such as לכלה היקרה (to the dear bride).

Beyond these minor adjustments, there is the possibility of adding additional stipulations prior to the phrase וכן אמר יעקב בן יציק, as is the practice in Sephardic communities. The groom can insert a statement that he will not take a second wife or divorce his wife against her will, in accordance with the ban of Rabbeinu Gershom, with language such as: עוד מתחייב לה שלא ישא ולא יקדש שום אשה אחרת עליה כחרם רגמ"ה. This space can also be used to insert phrases of mutual love, support, and commitment. Of course, any new language needs to be carefully reviewed by a competent halakhic authority.

For couples who are disturbed by the unequal nature of the financial obligations in the ketubah, additional modifications are possible. For its time, the ketubah was quite progressive, ensuring that the wife was treated as a person and was provided for during and after the marriage. The Rabbis, through the ketubah, obligated the husband to pay specific sums if he divorced (or predeceased) her, thus ensuring that a husband did not treat his wife as property, to be disposed of at will. The ketubah also protected the wife’s interests by requiring the husband to provide her with lodging, clothes and food, in exchange for which he is entitled to her earnings. However, these ongoing obligations may be modified, and a marriage contract that speaks of shared earnings and shared financial responsibilities is indeed possible within halakha.

The halakha states that since the husband’s obligations were instituted for the benefit of the woman, the woman is entitled to waive them. If they are waived, the wife would be entitled to her own earnings, and be financially responsible only to herself, and the same would obtain for the husband. They could both then obligate themselves to share their earnings and to share the financial obligations of the household. These stipulations are currently being implemented in Israel, in the context of an external rider to the ketubah, with the approval of recognized poskim (religious authorities). For the sake of preserving the standard ketubah text, especially in regards to its basic financial obligations, these stipulations are not being inserted into the ketubah text itself. Couples wishing to use such a rider need to review the issue closely with a competent halakhist.

Hebrew text

Is available in PDF format here.

English text and commentary

We witness that on the x day of the week, y day of the month, in the year z since the creation of the world, according to our manner of counting, here in settlement p, country q, how the groom Ploni son of Ploni II {name of mother and surname optional}, said to this feminine noun {virgin is usual, or substitute woman, bride, divorcee, widow, convert, or other, as appropriate} Plonit daughter of Ploni III {name of mother and surname optional}: “Be to me a wife according to the law of Moses and Israel, and I will cherish, honour, support and sustain you according to the practice of Jewish men, who cherish, honour, support and sustain their wives faithfully...

What this actually means is discussed in the halacha - in the early chapters of Ketubot, particularly - essentially defining what we can reasonably expect in a marriage. This includes her obligations to him - to let him use her goods and farm her land, for example.

{The normal text begins “On the x day of the week...” This text begins “We witness that...” since in this format, the witnesses are not performing the transaction, they are only witnessing it.>

...And I establish to you the price of feminine noun, plural {as before}, two hundred silver zuz {or other amount}, as is proper {insert “according to the law” if appropriate}...

Which the rabbis decreed for everyone, as being enough cash to get by for a year. Frank says one silver zuz is 4.25 grams of pure silver. Sephardim used to have the practice of putting in the equivalent of a year's salary at the current value, to make the settlement realistic.

...And I will sustain you, clothe you, and equip you, and cohabit with you according to the common practice.”

Again, see Ketubot. His level of obligation varies to some degree with his income and her background; a rich man has to give his wife more than a poor man has to give his wife. Likewise, her rights to sexual encounters vary with his profession; an idle man has more responsibility than a man who works away from home for lengthy periods.

And Plonit, this feminine noun consented and became his wife. And the property which she brought with her from her father's house {some omit 'from her father's house'} - including all silver, gold, valuables, apparel, furnishings, and linen - the groom accepted this at the value of one hundred silver zuz {or as appropriate},...

Which is to say, when she leaves the marriage, she is entitled to take this property back with her. This formulation states that she takes back the value of the property, rather than the property itself, which is to her advantage if the property depreciates in value. They may also decide that she will take back the goods themselves, and accept any depreciation. Some ketubot have inventories appended, to avoid disagreement. If she dies, this property passes to her heirs, rather than to her husband's heirs (for example, her own children from a previous marriage).

...and added to this from his own assets the sum of one hundred silver zuz {or as appropriate}, making two hundred silver zuz in total.

The gemara implies that this is a gift because he likes her (or, according to one opinion, because he is anticipating enjoying having sex with her). Whereas she is entitled to the two hundred zuz, above, this gift is technically optional. Again, one is at liberty to increase the amount.

...And thus said Ploni the groom: “I accept upon myself and upon my heirs after me the responsibility to pay this your price, this the value of your goods, and this my additional gift, such that they will be paid from the best of my estate and acquisitions, all I have under the heavens, that which I own now and that which I will come to own in the future. All my property, land and chattels, even the shirt from my shoulders, shall be held mortgaged to pay this price, this value of goods, and this additional gift, during my life and after my life, from this day and forever.”

That is, any property which he owns at the moment of signing or acquires afterwards can be claimed by the wife when she leaves. If he sold his property and was unable to pay her, she may claim it from the purchasers.

...Ploni the groom has accepted upon himself the responsibility to pay this price, value of goods, and additional gift, according to all the strictures of marriage contracts and gifts therein which are customary for Jewish women, as enacted by our Sages of blessed memory. It should not be regarded as a matter unworthy of consideration, or as merely a formality.

Since this would invalidate it. He is acquiring obligations, and, as such, has to take them seriously.

...And Plonit daughter of Ploni III performed ritual acquisition from Ploni son of Ploni II, and it was performed in a ritually appropriate manner, to validate the above; and all is valid and secured.

The usual text here reads “we have performed ritual acquisition from Ploni son of Ploni II {as above}, the groom, on behalf of Plonit daughter of Ploni III” Since in this ceremony, the bride is performing the ritual acquisition, the wording reflects this change. Instead of the witnesses giving the groom a pen, or other small object, acceptance of which signifies his acceptance of his obligations, the bride gives the groom a ring, accomplishing the same end.

Being how one acquires a legal obligation of this kind. There are various methods of effecting this; the usual method is kinyan sudar, in which the groom accepts an object of some kind from the witnesses, and in so doing, accepts upon himself the obligations he has specified.